国外也有段子手:盼望着,夏天来了,世界杯的脚步近了
2018-06-07 21:10

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!本周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷,齐达内宣布不再担任皇马主帅,各个国家队也陆续开始了世界杯前的热身赛。好了,话不多说,快让我们来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

功成身退,齐达内辞去皇马主帅职位

Terarri(阿什维尔球迷):有次我玩足球经理的时候就这样,3年里我已经赢得了所有,实在是太无聊了我就去带托基联队(英格兰地区联赛球队)了。所以,齐达内的下一站一定是托基联!(This is like one of my Football Manager saves where I win everything in 3 years then get bored and move to Torquay. Zidane to Torquay United confirmed.)

Lord_Hector_Rex(未知主队球迷):要想保住一世英名,齐达内只好带领托基联再来一次欧冠三连冠了!(To solidify his reputation he now must win it 3 times in a row with Torquay United.)

Alecoqq(斯托克城球迷):这个光头骗子,从没在斯托克城赢过球!(Bald fraud, he never won in Stoke, though.)

benoliver999(斯托克城球迷):其实我们自己也没怎么在斯托克城赢球…(Stoke didnt win in Stoke either.)

Rubixio(切尔西球迷 ):事态出现了戏剧性扭转!齐达内决定接受自己最大的挑战——去利物浦当门将!(In a completely shocking twist of events, Zidane decides that his next challenge will be his greatest yet. Goalkeeper of Liverpool FC.)

Votrenomdutilisateur(法国球迷):于是,门将齐达内在利物浦再次赢得欧冠三连冠,而且还是射手王,同时打破了守门零封最多的纪录…(Inb4 Liverpool win 3 CL in a row with Zidane as top goalscorer and record number of cleansheets.)

Jach10(皇马球迷):现在是时候找齐祖的继任者了,要不考虑下莫耶斯?(Great time for Madrid to be looking for a replacement when you consider Moyes.)

SixpacDrinkur(埃弗顿球迷):皇马:“我们要欧冠四连冠!”温格:“我最擅长争四了!”皇马:“你什么时候来上班?”(Real: We want a 4th CL in a row. Wenger: I guarantee 4th. Real: Great, when can you start?)

Blackcaster(埃及球迷):世界上只有3种东西是永恒不变的,那就是死亡、税收和齐达内打破纪录。(there are only 3 certainties in life Death taxes and zidane breaking records.)

Osmosis10c(未知主队球迷):还有我找不到女朋友的事实。(And the fact I don’t have a girlfriend.)

焦点之战,法国3-1意大利

SuperPippo9(AC米兰球迷):这明明是国际友尽赛…(international unfriendly!)

Twofirstkinds(皇马球迷):有登贝莱、格列兹曼和姆巴佩组成的锋线,结果乌姆蒂蒂竟然进了球…(Front 3: Dembele-Griezmann-Mbappe. Umtiti scores...)

_red_one_ 30(昂热球迷):这就是孙子兵法的经典战术:攻其无备,出其不意!(There's probably a Sun Tzu quote about striking where the ennemy doesn't expect you to.)

(注:《孙子兵法》的英文版“Art of the War”及其他语言译本,在欧美国家具有不错的知名度,在大书店可以买到。)

梅西戴帽阿圭罗进球,阿根廷4-0海地

AnionMilkHotel(切尔西球迷):想要进世界杯决赛,梅西得变成阿根廷队的勒布朗-詹姆斯才行啊!(Messi's about to be LeBron James in this team if he want the WC Final.)

ProudlyCTNY(未知主队球迷):阿根廷还是很有希望的!詹姆斯也只有一个JR来帮他,但梅西却有10个!(Argentina is sure to make it. LeBron has only one JR to help him but Messi has 10!)

(图):“梅西如果打网球,能拿50个大满贯。”拉基蒂奇如是说

32年首负对手,德国1-2奥地利

Potizzle(奥地利球迷):我不管,就算德国排出的是U7阵容都无所谓,我们特么终于赢了!(They could have played with the U7. I could't care less! We fucking won!!!!)

Moklboy(奥地利球迷):其实我不太懂规则,现在我们算是获得世界杯冠军了吗?(Not really familiar with the system, but that means we are World Cup winners now, right?)

OLAAF(奥地利球迷):我早就说了,这是咱国家队下的一步大棋!故意在世界杯预选赛被淘汰,使得德国队轻视我们,这样我们就可以在友谊赛里赢他们了!(I already said it in the game thread, 4 d chess from Austria. Failing to qualify for the world cup so that Germany underestimates them. What a move!

Fireeveryonenow1(未知主队球迷):这场罗伊斯没有受伤,对德国队而言也算是胜利吧…(Reus was not injured, this is a win for Germany.)

feldImportantPotato(沙尔克04球迷):感觉我们比2014年还要强大一些呢,而且这次还没有意大利了…(I think we are stronger than in 2014. Also there is no Italy)

Kazcmot(巴勒莫球迷):德国队友谊赛老是输,但大赛却总能赢,真是没有比这更固定的搭配了… (Germany and losing friendlies but win big events name better duo.)

UneasyInsider(英格兰球迷):有啊,英格兰恰好相反…(England and doing the exact opposite.)

Irrelevantbigot(拜仁球迷):勒夫是不是让球队故意在练诺伊尔?后防线也太坑爹了…(Did Löw tell them to allow more chances to test Neuer or something? Defense is looking wack.)

Royboom(拜仁球迷):其实我挺希望奥地利的射门能多几次射正的,告诉我不是一个人…(I can't be the only one that wants Austria to get as many shots on target as possible.)

凯恩卡希尔进球,英格兰2-1尼日利亚

Preperprep(利物浦球迷):又到了英格兰熟悉的友谊赛之王的时刻,好让我们觉得他们真的能干出点什么事一样…(Get ready for the traditional world class friendly performance by England that makes everyone think they might actually do something.)

PastLevel(哈镇球迷):英格兰这身队服要卖160英镑,但生产者套衣服的孟加拉国工人一天的工资才1.68镑,连买土豆吃都不够!(England's £160 World Cup football kit 'made in Bangladeshi factory where workers are paid as little as £1.68 a day, not even enough to buy potatoes.)

NiagaraLLC(英格兰球迷):那我们能请他们过来踢球么?让现在场上这11个土豆去缝衣服好了…(Can we hire them to play for us and let those 11 potatoes on pitch to sew the kit?)

(图):各国家队发布的世界杯球衣

Youretheonlyjuan(未知主队球迷):维尔贝克就算带个面具,你也能在他带球的时候认出来,还有比这更菜的表现么…(Welbeck could wear a mask and you'd still recognise who it was when he's on the ball. Couldn't be more awful.)

gabokike99(曼联球迷):我打赌你是嫉妒他老跟漂亮妹子约会才这么黑他的!(I bet you're jealous that Wele hangs out with the hot dudes.)

Bridgeorl(利物浦球迷):早早地就领先了2球,真是没有比这更危险的比分了!(Two goals lead in such an early time, can’t be more dangerous.)

Phillipbar(AC米兰球迷):不是领先3个吗?(Not three?)

Imerisk(巴黎球迷):不是领先4个吗?(Not four?)

握手言和,西班牙1-1瑞士

Ilovebusquets(巴萨球迷):看到介绍伊涅斯塔时,不再提巴萨的名字,真的是好不习惯…(feels so weird not seeing the barca flair alongside iniesta's name.)

Ptile(利物浦球迷):德赫亚是不是在向卡里乌斯致敬呢…(De Gea paying respect to Karius.)

内马尔菲尔米诺进球,巴西2-0克罗地亚

MrBathroom(克罗地亚球迷):没有莫妈,踢个JB!(we got fucked without Modric.)

Notsureiflying(帕尔梅拉斯球迷):巴西队这是有魔力啊,本来英国今天有雨,结果巴西队一来天气晴朗!(Brazil is a magical national team. They show up to play and suddenly English rainy weather pretends it's not utter shit.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们下期不见不散!

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